Sometimes I wish I lived in a tropical paradise so that
every year as the ground begins to freeze
maybe my heart and body would have a chance.
They tell me it’s seasonal depression as the snow begins to fall
and so does my stomach but I think I would prefer to call it
seasonal happiness for me who gets
maybe two good months of easy smiles
and forces them through heartbreak the other ten.
My heart loves the Holiday spirit but my body hates the cold
my body loves the hot chocolate and festive music but my heart hates
the forced nameless sadness that makes itself home in my chest.
They tell me it’s normal and that it will pass
but for twenty one years I have lived every day
waiting for it to pass.
Maybe next year this seasonal happiness will stay.