My mind has a way of convincing me that my thoughts are misguided.
I sit in silence with a voice that is only my own rattling around in my head
but I can’t even trust what she tells me.
A year ago I would have believed her when she told me I was crazy.
A year ago I would have taken her word for it when she mumbled
‘you are not enough’ and in the next sentence ‘you can trust him –
you have nothing to worry about -‘
Today I do not take her words on first listen
Instead I turn them over in my ears before
letting them roll into my brain and only then
do I decide which pile they get sorted into –
True or untrue.
True: I am enough.
Untrue: You can trust him.
True: You have nothing to worry about. You are still enough. Even if you’re not enough for him.